


Can I Forbid You From Breaking My Heart?

by KliqzAngel



Series: Make Me Want You.  Want You to Make Me. [2]
Category: Leverage RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Dark fic, Dom!Jared, Dom/sub, M/M, Self Destructive Tendancies, Sub!Christian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 22:41:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6028050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KliqzAngel/pseuds/KliqzAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Forbid</p><p>Some rules just aren’t made to be broken.  Some lines are not meant to be rested.  Some hearts are not made to be broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Forbid You From Breaking My Heart?

**Author's Note:**

> This series will be darker than what I usually write. All but one story came out in first person POV, which I don’t write much so I hope it came out alright. This is for an old prompt challenge over at Jared Chris on Livejournal.
> 
> This was written by someone (me) without experience in this type of relationship. I did do research, and speak with friends who do have experience in this world. I tried my best to be true to this type of relationship and not get too far out over my skis. I do understand abuse and BDSM are NOT the same thing. I tried very hard to make sure that while both are discussed in this series along with self destructive tendencies, that there was a difference.
> 
> Please no throwing stones. I won't enjoy it, and the series is old enough it won't change anything.

His blue eyes are glaring at me, snapping with anger and he thinks that I don’t know. He thinks I can’t see what’s going on. Even if I didn’t have Aldis calling me every other day bitching about Jensen’s boy being extra bitchy, I would know.

I remember what it seems you have forgotten. I remember why you came to me. I remember why you asked me to take care of you. I remember what that collar around your neck means to me and what it should mean to you. Do you?

Do you remember when you asked me to take control? Do you remember when you put your life in my hands to shape and mold as I see fit? Do you remember the promises I made to you to protect and cherish and touch no others? Do you remember the promises you made to me to obey and love and be faithful? Do you remember promising you would let no other do to you what I do? 

Do you remember Christian?

I don’t think you do.

You think because you don’t speak, I don’t know. You think you can hide and I won’t see. You think I am blind, but I am not.

I love you.

I cherish you.

But I will NOT be your plaything.

That role, my dear, is yours.

The problem is I can only do so much. There are so many things I want to do to you, do with you, but you have not yet earned them. I would love to tie you up with beautiful knots, but it requires a level of trust and faith that we don’t yet share. If you can hide your fears so easily now, how can I be sure you won’t hide them then. I can’t run the risk of hurting you. How can I trust when you fight my most basic commands? 

Everything I forbid, you disregard.

Rule number one was no playing with others.

I forbid you. It was my most important rule. It wasn’t to limit you. It was to protect you. Do you think I can’t see marks on your skin that aren’t my own? Do you know what the thought of someone else hurting you does to me? Do you know the sickness that clenches my stomach at the thought you could be seriously injured because you let someone control you who cared nothing for your safety? 

I forbid you from hiding your fears and frustrations from me. I explained I did not think you weak, but rather that I couldn’t help you if I didn’t know. Well, I know, but not because you spoke. You tell me I am unfair. You tell me I neglect you with my absence and therefore I force you to disobey. You wound me with your words in ways I would never do with my hands and my whips.

When I express my pain, you call me weak. You say maybe they are right. You say maybe I don’t have what it takes to give you what you need. You say you can do better?

I can’t forbid you from breaking my heart because it’s already too late.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of several older fics that I have decided to post to AO3. They've resided for years on my personal archive, but I am thinking of getting rid of it. I want to make sure some of them are posted here. So, if you think you read this or some others I am posting over the next few days somewhere before... you probably have. They were also posted on LiveJournal.


End file.
